The first part of my trip is a sentimental one, visiting the family I lived with back in 2006 as a nanny. The kids were 6 and 10 then and now 14 and 18. What a wonderful feeling to see Emily as such a young lady, driving me around places, she’s just lovely.
At that time in 2006 this was my one and only big dream, my big leap of faith. Since my teenage years my dream was to live in the States, but I ended up making different life decisions after I turned 18, based on school, relationships, jobs, the expectatoins of my surroundings. Still I knew in my deepest core, although not wanting to fully recognise it, that if I wouldn’t follow my big dream to live in the States I would forever regret it.
It’s hard to just drop everything and go.
There is a visa program for under 26 year olds that enables you to live in the USA for up to 2 years as a childcare provider. Just in time my previous decisions started falling apart, my relationship broke down and my job became much less satisfying. So just in time (age wise) I found a wonderful family and flew to the place I had seen in movies so often, San Francisco.
Still now, so many years later, I often reflect on my decisions. Many got a lucky push by life and I am most grateful for those events that led me to dare to leap. Even though maybe at the time the end of a relationship meant heart ache and the end of my little world, in hindsight I couldn’t have been blessed more.
If there is one thing I now at my 32 years old definitely have learned is that nothing is ever good or bad, even the worst things happening to you can in the end steer your life in an unexpected positive direction, or the other way around. However I didn’t get good yet going with the flow, riding the waves, even though I have this realisation. I still need to realize there is never control, only the illusion of, and the more I want control, the less I actually have it. My mind gets it, but my heart not yet. Or is it the other way around.
That is exactly my personal goal of this last adventure (for now). Our flights have been booked so we do have an illusion of control installed which makes me feel safe, but in between these guide ropes I am learning to let go and see what magic happens, or not, and accept it as it is.
You might want to know I am writing this California part a little further into my trip, having gained some insights already passing magical Costa Rica (next post). The reason is that it was hard to write about my weeks in California.
The main reason was to see people again, friends and family. Many moments were wonderful and others were confronting. The family had a lot of changes and moved to a cosy little condo in Los Gatos, a really wonderful area next to San Jose. Around the corner is the biggest yoga studio of the valley so I signed up and enjoyed some classes, discovering Qi Gong, one on my list to get more into once we settle in Scotland or Canada or where ever and I can get a regular practice. It’s an energy based movement exercise focussing on breath and moving from your core more than focussing on muscles like most yoga. That’s the best I can do to explain it short. My kidney really liked it as it has still been bothering me since I had surgery in January. So now I downloaded some kidney-focussed qi gong exercises to do on the road. It all makes sense, instead of focussing energy on one spot you get it flowing, enabling parts to heal and relax better, be more a whole than separate parts.
I did a wonderful hike and had great chats with Michelle the mother of the family, she’s one of the gentlest people I know in my life. After my time with the family I had some more days around San Francisco to explore with two friends that still live in the area, Lauren and Guri. It was interesting to see where they were at, learning about having your own business, cross roads, decisions etc. We had a super full day road tripping south to a strawberry farm, stopped at a lighthouse and actually SAW WHALES BREECHING just off the shore!!! Hallelujah thank you! I loved it. We stopped in a cute town and I often like to try things on menus I have never tried so in a little coffee shop I chose to drink Dandy Blend. Hallelujah again because this is one of the most delicious drinks I ever tasted!!! On my list to order in bulk where we settle!! It’s a dandelion and chicory and some other roots based drink, coffee like, naturally sweet, no caffeine and not acidic like coffee. If anything to me it is like only the good stuff of coffee but better.
Discovering Qi Gong and Dandy Blend already make this stop more than worth it. And of course seeing the people I care for again is invaluable.
Next time I will be back in California with my fiancé at my side so he can shortly experience this wonderful part of the world. I love the energy around San Francisco. But still I am at a point where I rather share anything than experience it alone.